自己写的英语小对话.A：What is the matter You looks so sad.B：My mother

自己写的英语小对话.
A：What is the matter You looks so sad.
B：My mother does not allowed me to play computer games.
A：Why?
B：Because she thinks It is bad for me.And I should study harder.
A：I think she is right.
B：I kown .But I always want to play computer games.What should I do?
A：Maybe you can try reading books instead of play computer games.
B：That sounds good.I will try it.

单从语法来说：
A：What is the matter You looks so sad.
这里look后面不应该有s,因为不是第三人称单数
B：My mother does not allowed me to play computer games.
这里allow后面不应该有ed,因为平时我们用的是被动,sb is no allowed to do sth,某人不被允许做某事,但是如果像你这里,主动语态,就不能加ed
A：Why?
B：Because she thinks It is bad for me.And I should study harder.
这里think已经是句子的谓语,后面应该用that从句,也就是补充一个that,另外这两句话最好合并成一句：Because she thinks that is it bad for me and that I should study harder.
A：I think she is right.
B：I kown .But I always want to play computer games.What should I do?
A：Maybe you can try reading books instead of play computer games.
这里instead of前后应该要平行,前面你用try doing是没错的,表示尝试着,所以后面play应该改成playing
B：That sounds good.I will try it.
从内容上来说：
前面都不错,后面逻辑稍微有点不顺,因为B说他很想玩游戏,A说让他读书,B就觉得问题解决了?这里有一个gap,稍微加点内容会更好
建议把A的那句Maybe you can try reading books instead of playing computer games.
改成 Maybe you can spare more time on reading istead of playing computer games,and then perhaps you will attain a particular liking for reading.
因为你在阅读上多花一些时间,就可能发现其中的乐趣,给你填补了逻辑上的gap
再问： 谢谢你啊，，高手，，有好多打错的地方，，嘿嘿。。不过逻辑方面确实有点问题。。我又不会改。。但是。。麻烦这句话（Maybe you can spare more time on reading istead of playing computer games, and then perhaps you will attain a particular liking for reading. 因为你在阅读上多花一些时间，就可能发现其中的乐趣。）能不能改简单点啊，，我高一，，有好多词不认识。。。老师会认为不是自己写的。。谢谢谢谢
再答： 改简单点，就是 Maybe you can spend more time on reading istead of playing computer games, and then you will gradually enjoy it. 另外，之前我用的have a particular liking for ，以后你可以替代你作文中的like，enjoy等等表示喜爱的句子，任何作文都能用
再问： 哇哇，，谢谢谢谢，，你好厉害。。我特喜欢英语但英语就是不好，，可以认识一下吗？？以后我有不会的还可以问你吗？（期待ing）
再答： 喜欢就很好阿，努力就会有进步，以后有问题可以来找我