托福作文求修改,Do you agree or disagree:for future career success,r

托福作文求修改,
Do you agree or disagree:for future career success,relating well to other people is more important than studying hard at school
Today most people claim that relating well to other people is the key to be successful.They think if you can have a good relationship with others then you can succeed.But this idea is strongly opposed by other people.As far as I am concerned studying hard at school is more important than that.Only in this way can you get the final success.
Firstly,it is widely understand that only by studying hard can we get knowledge that we can use in the future.When it comes to this point,we can quote a easy example.Just as teacher for example,if our teacher does not study hard when they were students then they can not get enough knowledge to teach us.And even what they told us is not accurate.So they can not let us became very excellent students.Then how can they be successful in their career.The instance is not rare.It is only one of many examples we can see in our school life.It could be seen in many fields.Like doctor,if they do not have the skill to be a doctor then the result is very terrible even can make people lose their lives.
Secondly,study hard also can help you to improve yourself.Think that you have the found of knowledge than you can learn something easier than other people.And then you have chance to success.For instance after graduating from computer major then you go to take part in a further train.Then you must develop your skill more quickly than those who did not study in the school.So that you and someone who have a good relationship with others but did not study hard at school go to a same company.After your boss knowing more about both of you,you will be thought highly of.
Third,if you relate well to other people may help you get more chance to shine.Because of relating well to others you can be easily known and considered.So if there is a chance to shine you have more opportunities.But what you have to do is also study hard to get knowledge and be skillful.
So we can easily draw the conclusion that relating well to other people is important because it can give you more chances.But what is more important is studying hard to get knowledge.So that in my opinion I think studying hard is more important for future career success.

请多用关联词,注意连贯性.
可以下载TPO19套真题,在上面在线做.会有专业人士帮你修改
参考如下网址：
http://toeflpracitce.org