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请大神来评价一下这篇雅思大作文值多少分

来源:学生作业帮 编辑:搜搜做题作业网作业帮 分类:综合作业 时间:2024/05/05 13:45:52
请大神来评价一下这篇雅思大作文值多少分
Advertisements play a major role on TV in market economies.Despite the benefits of such information,many people criticize the role of TV advertising.To what extent do you agree or disagree with their view?
Advertisements play an important role on TV in market economies.Some people argue that they brings negative affects to our society.Personally,I disagree with this view.
It is acknowledged that TV advertisements have positive affects on society and individuals.As modern technology fundamentally change our life,advertisements promote the exchanges of information.Just sit on the sofa and turn on TV,we can get quick access to wealthy information in terms of food,furniture,medicine and electronic equipment.Advertisements tell people the advantages and functions of the products,therefore,customers catch up with the latest products and consumption trend.It allows customers to have more options than ever before and buy what they really need.At the same time,TV advertisement is not only an industry but an art,many advertisements are elaborate works of art full of ingenuity and originally.Some advertisements are like a movie including a series of shots,good music and breathtakingly pictures.It brings spiritual pleasures to viewers and add entertainments to public life.
However,it is no doubting that TV advertisement has disadvantages.In order to gain economic profits,for example,a majority of TV advertisements are fictitious and misleading,causing confusion in people’s daily life and even leading to injury and death of some consumers.Some information is false and fraudulent and a range of media companies exaggerate the effects of products.People have been fed up with rubbish TV advertisements and call for relevant authorities to ban these advertisements.What’s more,TV advertisements bring some comfortable and inconvenient to our life.When we are pleased with a wonderful film,unwanted ads frequently interrupt us.It is so bad that people feel dissatisfied and frustrated.Ads spoil our life and waste a lot of sources and time.It is a burden and audience can’t stand with it.
Overall,TV advertisement is a double edged sword,it has positive effects and brings some disadvantages to our society and individuals in market economies.In my opinion,relevant laws and regulations should be made and government should effectively monitor them to ensure the TV advertisements truly and health.
请大神来评价一下这篇雅思大作文值多少分
5.5/6.0
理由:四段式大作文,表面自己立场的,个人建议一边倒的模式.而”反面观点“最后提一下就好了,没有必要把整个第三段都写成反驳自己观点的语句,难道这样是为了证明自己的“客观”和多么懂得“辩证”吗?
条理清晰,语法精准,基本上就是一篇好作文.首尾都不对应,观点从开头的“Personally,I disagree with this view”到结尾的“In my opinion,relevant laws and regulations should be made and government should effectively monitor them to ensure the TV advertisements truly and health.“完全不一样啊.考官可没有时间看你每字每句,但是首尾都这样矛盾给考官可能印象不好.
A类雅思作文是所谓”Academic“类别,你完全可以参照国外一些科研型paper的构思模式,即文章永远是总分总,每个段落都是总分总.每个段落都要有开头点名段落主旨的话语,很可惜这不是散文让我们抒情压抑到最后在说出想法或者隐含在字里行间让读者猜测,如果不开门见山提出来,也要在开门见不到山之后提出来;否则考官有可能认为你思维混乱.所有这篇文章第二段就很不错,我可能会更喜欢把第二句放在段首,因为”promote the exchanges of information“就是你想解释的重点,要让考官一眼看到.
第三段真是任性.既然都那么简单disagree广告有negative affects了,可苦要写第三段、又不是让你discuss啊.(或者你直接把第一段改了,写it depends,也需要更多的management,和最后一段呼应)