希望英语达人帮忙修改一下我写的一段很短的演讲稿吧 急!

希望英语达人帮忙修改一下我写的一段很短的演讲稿吧 急!
Good afternoon,ladies and gentlemen.Today I will give the speech about my favourate music.All over the world people listen to the music,and everybody has taste for different types of music.I love Jazz.Jazz originated from Blues,and it is a kind of folk music created by slaves who used to live in the South Africa.I really like a singer called Ono Lisa,she is the queen of Bossa Nova.[放音乐]The song's name is La Vie En Rose,it's a beautiful and gentle song, When Lisa starts singing,I always can't help closing my eyes and singing along.[音乐完毕] Ono Lisa is a great singer,I believe she will creat more beautiful songs for us.That's all,thank you!
明天就要课前演讲啦 主讲自己喜欢的音乐类型和歌曲以及歌手 大概两分钟以内 希望大家帮我看一看 不用客气的修改一下
如果里面有语法问题或者语句表达不清晰的 也请帮我修改一下吧
而且中间有可以添加充实内容的地方还是请帮再我加一点吧
谢谢各位英语达人啦!^_^

语法错误比较多,我改了一下应该是这样的
Good afternoon,ladies and gentlemen.Today I will give you a speech about my favorite kind of music.All over the world people listen to music,and everybody has his or her own taste for different types of music.I love Jazz.Jazz originated from Blues,and it is a kind of folk music created by slaves who are used to live in the South Africa.I really like a singer called Ono Lisa; she is the queen of Boss Nova.[放音乐]The song's name is La Vie En Rose,it’s a beautiful and gentle song,When Lisa starts singing,I always can't help closing my eyes and singing along.[音乐完毕] Ono Lisa is a great singer,I believe she will create more beautiful songs for us.That’s all,thank you!
另外,我是英语专业的,也经常做英语演讲,我根据你的演讲内容还是觉得你应该充实一下,句子不够华丽,而且这些东西不够你讲两分钟的,所以我给你的主题又加了一些内容,可以增色,大概是这样的,你可以再适当添加一些自己喜欢的内容.
Good afternoon,ladies and gentlemen.Today I will lead all of you to a magic music world!
People all over the world,from different places,or of different races or beliefs all listen to music; what is more,thousands of tones are created everyday for people to express their feelings,inner emotions,or just to entertain.We can relax ourselves when we listen to music,and even get strength and encouragement from various kind of music.
I love Jazz best.Jazz is a kind of music originated from Blues,and it is related to folk music,which is created by slaves who are used to live in South Africa.
One of the singer whose music reach deeply to my soul is Ono Lisa,the queen of Boss Nova.[放音乐]The name of the song is La Vie En Rose,it’s a beautiful and gentle song which always convinces me to sing together with the great singer.I believe she will create more beautiful songs for us.That’s all,thank you!